Funny Quotes

Funny quotes for your talk, tshirt or Internet bumpersticker.

If you ever needed a funny quote for your talk or to use as an Internet bumpersticker for your web site, you have undoubtedly experienced the frustation with how difficult it is to find the really funny quotes hidden between the many clever, but not so funny quotes. If you ever have been looking for a funny t-shirt you will undoubtedly have been frustated by the enormous choice, but the one that you really liked is nowhere to be found. You'll be even more surprised how many really funny quotes never made it on a t-shirt or a bumper sticker.

In this funny quotes section of the Catchy Quotes site, I will concentrate on those funny quotes that never appeared on a ready made T-shirt or bumper sticker. If you ever made a custom T-shirt you know how easy it is to get that funny t-shirt that nobody else has. And, if you decide to buy your own personalized T-shirt, you'll find it is not that more expensive than many ready made t-shirts. So, if you find a funny quote that you really like, get your own personalized t-shirt.

Our Top Funny quotes.

I know nothing about sex, I am married (adapted from a Zsa Zsa Gabor quote)

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman

Why don't we save time and you just tell me what I want? (Sex in the city)

A drink a day keeps the shrink away

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti (Sophia Loren)

I am a deeply superficial person, I like sex. (adapted from an Andy warhol quote)

Metallica's music is better than it sounds. (adapted from a Mark Twain quote)

What a nice night for an evening. (Steven Wright)

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast (Woody Allen)